Three tests for any piece of advice
Experience has a blind spot: we mostly hear from people for whom things worked out, not from those who did the same and failed.
- Conditions: “What would have to be true for that advice to be wrong here?”
- Motives, asked without accusing: “Would your own organisation be affected by what we decide?”
- Evidence: “Has it ever gone wrong for someone in a different position?”
- Then grant what holds: “There’s a case for a detailed budget, but it shouldn’t be the only test for first-time applicants.”
Listen: sensible advice from someone with a stake
An arts fund must choose between a polished theatre proposal and a rough plan from teenagers. Why is the first piece of advice treated with caution?
Notice “Sensible, but her company would have gained…”: concede first, then name the motive.
Maya I asked the theatre director for advice. She said we should demand a detailed budget. Sensible, but her company would have gained the main grant if the teenagers failed.
Owen So you sought a second view?
Maya Yes. A retired youth worker suggested that the teenagers advise us on one smaller problem: preventing noise complaints.
Concede, then qualify: phrases by job
Fluent speakers rarely stop at “I disagree”. They grant what holds and narrow the rest. In “That rather depends on…”, rather means “to some extent”.
- Grant part of a point: “Up to a point, but…” “There’s a case for…, but…”
- Make it conditional: “That rather depends on whether people already trust you.”
- Reframe the issue: “It’s not so much bad advice as advice without its conditions.”
- Challenge the reasoning: “The flaw in that argument is that we only hear from the people it worked for.”
Will, would, should and shall: stance and time
Each modal does several jobs. In fast speech, have shrinks: should’ve /ʃʊdəv/, would’ve /wʊdəv/.
- Would for a tentative view: “I would suggest a shorter pilot.”
- Will for typical behaviour: “New staff will often ask for a neat answer.”
- Should for advice and, with have, for past criticism: “You should disclose the conflict.” “You should have told me it only works when people already trust you.”
- Shall for offers and suggestions: “Shall I tell you what I did, or shall we work out what you should do?”
- After a modal, the infinitive shows time and voice: “may leave” (now or later), “may have left” (past), “may be leaving” (in progress), “may have been waiting” (over a period), “should be signed; should have been signed” (passive).
When you are the adviser
Give advice others can test: say what you did, name your own interest and make each recommendation conditional.
- Your interest: “I’d rather you didn’t reorganise the night shift, and you should know that part of the reason is that I designed it.”
- Two conditional recommendations for a friend leaving a secure job to run a cooperative: “If the cooperative can show a year of steady orders, I’d take the offer seriously.” “If your savings only cover four months, I’d ask for a trial period before resigning.”
Questions to discuss
Answer aloud with a reason, an example and one phrase from above.
- “Should managers and mentors say openly what they gain from the advice they give? Would it make them more or less persuasive?”
- “In a crisis, is a confident instruction more responsible than carefully qualified advice? Where would you draw the line?”
- “If we mostly hear from people who succeeded, can we ever learn reliably from other people’s experience?”
Common mistakes
Listen for these in your recordings:
- Treating a motive as proof: it is a reason to test advice, not evidence that the advice is wrong.
- “I’d rather you don’t change it.” After would rather plus a new subject, use a past form: “I’d rather you didn’t change it.”
- An unfair should have: use it only if the person could have known at the time.
- Hedging every sentence until you give no advice at all.
A 15-minute daily routine
Use one real decision all week.
- 3 minutes: play the conversation; say what each adviser could gain.
- 4 minutes: put a recent piece of advice through the three tests.
- 5 minutes: answer a discussion question aloud and record it.
- 3 minutes: write two conditional recommendations.
What comes next
Next at C1+: could versus was able to for a past success, a theatre review explaining a staging choice, and a causal article on unequal promotion. At C1: a covering email with evidence.