Four moves for a balanced account
A fair account shows how your judgement formed, so the listener can follow it. Use four moves:
- Concede a strength and a tension: “She is meticulous, although her questions can stall a meeting.”
- Pivot on one event: “My view changed during the quarterly forecast.”
- Give two actions and their consequence: “She noticed that two regions counted customers differently and rebuilt the comparison, so we corrected the forecast before it left the team.”
- Qualify the close: “Meetings with her still take longer, but our figures are safer because of it.”
Listen: the event that changes the judgement
A team leader describes her analyst. Listen for the cost, the turning event and the advice.
In “which can stall a meeting”, which refers to the whole clause before it; after a comma, it can never be replaced by that. The clause “so we corrected the forecast before presenting it” ties the discovery to its consequence.
Maya My analyst questions every estimate, which can stall a meeting.
Owen What event showed that the questioning had value?
Maya She found that two regions used different definitions, so we corrected the forecast before presenting it.
Owen Then close with a judgement that keeps both the value and the cost visible.
Get phrasal verbs for working relationships
The meaning of get depends on what follows, so learn each phrase whole:
- Get on with + person, a good relationship; + task, continue it: “Maya gets on with Owen, although she needs to get on with the invoices.”
- Get to know, become familiar over time: “They got to know each other while sharing a temporary workshop.”
- Get through to, reach someone or make them understand: “I finally got through to the insurer, but I could not get through to its impatient agent.”
- Get over, recover from a setback: “It took Owen a week to get over the rejected funding bid.”
- Get someone down, discourage; the object goes in the middle: “Uncertainty about the lease was getting Maya down.”
- Get away with + -ing, escape criticism: “No exhibitor should get away with concealing damage.”
Phrases that keep both sides visible
These concede a point without giving up yours:
- Although + clause, despite + noun or -ing: “Although she can be exhausting, I trust her figures.” “Despite slowing us down, her checks have saved us twice.”
- Admittedly … even so: “Admittedly, she slows meetings down. Even so, her review protects us.”
- That said, a deliberate balancing move: “She is very careful. That said, not every estimate needs a debate.”
- To be fair, a point against your own complaint: “To be fair, she always explains why she is asking.”
- I wouldn’t go that far, rejecting an overstatement: “Impossible to work with? I wouldn’t go that far.”
Tone: same words, different attitude
Said warmly, to be fair sounds even-handed; said sarcastically, it becomes another complaint. In I wouldn’t go that far, stress far. No pitch pattern has one fixed meaning, but these are typical:
- Sceptical, a questioning rise: “The repair will only take an hour? Really?”
- Sympathetic, a slower, warmer fall: “That must have been extremely difficult.”
Questions to discuss
Answer aloud with a reason and an example:
- “Is a colleague who slows decisions down always a problem?”
- “Should a reference mention a person’s weaknesses?”
- “Can you respect someone you do not enjoy working with?”
Common mistakes
Check your account for these:
- “I get on good with him.” Say “I get on well with him.”
- “The delays get down me.” Say “The delays get me down.”
- “He got away to ignore the report.” Say “He got away with ignoring the report.”
- “I knew her better during the project.” For change over time: “I got to know her better.”
- “I have two evidences.” Evidence is uncountable: “two pieces of evidence”.
A 15-minute daily routine
Use one real working relationship all week.
- 3 minutes: play the get cards and make three true sentences.
- 5 minutes: speak your account in four moves and record it.
- 4 minutes: listen back for two pieces of evidence, a consequence and a qualified close.
- 3 minutes: say to be fair and that said warmly, then sharply.
- Friday: give the whole account in two minutes, without notes.
What comes next
Next, carry the same balance into writing: a balanced essay on phone-first public services, or a reflective article about a memory that changed. Then decide how much of an ending a spoiler warning should reveal.